Irrational thoughts, stinkin’ thinkin’, cognitive distortions…whatever you want to call them, they aren’t useful and often lead to increased symptoms of depression and anxiety. How we speak to ourselves matters. Is it kind? Rational? True? Helpful? We often deviate from these lines of thinking to explore the rabbit holes that exist in our brains. Sometimes our imaginations come up with some pretty interesting story lines too! Though there is brilliance in the creativity our minds are capable of, let’s save the drama for the movies and allow ourselves to check-in with the elaborate narratives we spin for ourselves.
Check out this chart of cognitive distortions. Which ones do you tend to flock to the most? Awareness that these distortions are happening is the first step in gaining greater control over your thoughts, and ultimately, your emotions.
| COGNITIVE DISTORTION | DEFINITION | EXAMPLE |
| All or Nothing Thinking | Classic black and while thinking or thinking in “absolute” terms. | Alex has been reducing his alcohol intake significantly. He went to a party and had a drink. Believing that he “blew it,” he continues drinking until he is black out drunk. |
| Overgeneralization | The “always” or “never” trap. Generalizing an experience to all others and expecting patterns to emerge. | I wasn’t able to change my tire so I will never be able to change my tire. |
| Mental Filter | Fixating on one detail of something and dismissing or “filtering out” the rest. | Getting 5 A’s on your report card, and one C and yet only being able to see the C standing out on the page, the A’s blurring to the background. |
| Discounting the positives | A negativity bias where good things are ignored. | Saying “I have nothing to be grateful for” when in fact, you have food on the table, a roof over your head, and a freakin car. |
| Jumping to Conclusions – Mind Reading – Fortune Telling | Believing you know what other people are thinking about you.Predicting how events will unfold without evidence. | Not asking someone out because they must think I’m a loser (mind reading) If I ask that person out, they will laugh at me and I will need to move out of town (fortune telling) |
| Magnification or Minimization -Catastrophizing | Exaggerating or downplaying the importance or severity of something. Catastrophizing is expecting the worst to happen | Thinking you are a terrible person for a minor infraction like forgetting to bring a card to a birthday party (Magnification).Thinking its “no big deal” to graduate summa cum laude (minimization).My friend has not texted me to let me know she got home safe, she must have veered off the road and struck a tree (Catastrophizing). |
| Emotional Reasoning | Judging yourself based on your emotions. If you feel a certain way, it must be true in general. | If I feel stupid, I must be stupid (even though I went to a great university on a merit scholarship). |
| “Should” Statements | Stop “shoulding” on yourself! Should statements put us down and are often self-defeating. They demand perfection and facilitate shame when perfection isn’t achieved. | “I should be a more active parent volunteer at the PTA” is basically just saying YOU AREN’T DOING ENOUGH, JANET! YOU AREN’T A GOOD ENOUGH PARENT! |
| Labeling | Making a judgment about someone or yourself in totality, without separating the behavior from the person. | Misplacing your keys and calling yourself stupid. |
| Personalization and Blame | Personalization: Taking on all the responsibility for complex issues that often have many contributing factors. Believing other people’s actions and behaviors are because of you.Blame: Inability to accept responsibility for the aspects you contributed to the situation and instead place the responsibility and blame on others. | A child often takes on blame for their parent’s divorce, believing it is their fault their parent’s relationship is dissolving. (personalization) “They crashed into me!” being the narrative while leaving out the part where you brake checked them…(blaming) |
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